Muzak :)

Like i said in my last post, gotten kinda addicted to 90s music...the music i loved growing up. Also the type of music my peers would say is gay and useless....even though i know they loved it and there will always be a part of you that will love that nostalgic feeling you get when it comes on, no matter how much you try and bury it!!

So tweeps, lucky for you i dont care...heres my current play list:

Steps- One for Sorrow
Steps- Last Thing On My Mind
Steps- Better the Devil You Know
Steps- Love's Got a Hold On My Heart
S Club 7- You're My Number One
Steps- After the Love Has Gone
S Club 7- S Club Party
S Club 7- You
S Club 7- Reach
S Club 7- Two in a Million
S Club 7- Don't Stop Movin'
S Club 7- Bring It All Back
Steps- The Way You Make Me Feel
Steps- Summer Of Love

Now  i know that isnt really 90s music...just S Club 7 and Steps but i need more money to buy more!! I defy any one of my friends, no matter how "cool" they are, to not dance to that music or remember the happy times that come with it. Come on who doesnt know how to Reach For The Stars or tell me that One Is For Sorrow....!! haha :)

Rock on and dance to whatever  you want to
~danis

The Way You Make Me Feel

I had the intentions of having a good post, but as usual my life is a complete and utter waste and decides to fuck me before i get here.

My mam and granny had a huge argument, and as usual it was over something minor but buried truths came out...hurtful ones

See my mam is a single mother, living with her mother (already off to a good start). Mam works in a factory and at that time worked on shift, so granny would mind me...considering i lived with her she had to See my granda died four years before i was born and i think, for granny, i was like a replacement for him. She had had other grandkids in four years, but i was living in his house and had his last name. I suppose it gave her a purpose again and someone depended on her. But there is a point when it starts to cross the line, and granny never sees it..

Well it all came out tonight....and in a way I'm glad it did, they never tell each other anything and carry on regardless, never asking for help. I know granny doesn't meant to, but she smothers me and makes mam feel like she doesn't have a say in my...like she isn't my mother!
Granny us always at me; Did you get something to eat? When will i be home? Will i make you dinner? Where are you going? When will you be back? Will you let me know? ARGGH I know she cares but she over compensates! And if any one should be doing it, asking them questions is my mother! Now i know granny is like a mother...but shes not my mother!! I love her like a mam and a lot more than my other granny but she needs to know where the boundaries are. That's another thing even if she steps back its too late, I'm 20 years old and i don't need all that mothering. I love mam for that she understands what its like, by my age she was already working 3 years.

Mam is independent and that's what i admire and love about her, she always put me first and now I'm older she is letting go, slowly but surely, shes got a fella and she never dated anyone when i was younger. Now I'm older she is getting a life for herself and she deserves to. Granny hasn't, or wont, she stays in the house all day and everyday. Week in, week out. She goes shopping with my aunt for an hour on Friday and goes to the pub for roughly three hours on Saturday and that's it..she needs to get out more often, shes starting to get paranoid.

I'm going to stop talking about this now, change of subject and much better news. My "sister" got engaged today!! :)
Shes my surrogate sister, by that i mean she isn't any relation to me but she might as well be my sister. She sent me a text saying "Letting you know ***** is going to be your brother in law, just got engaged!" I'm so happy for her, see she has Cystic Fibrosis and when she was diagnosed the doctors said she wont live past 21, and I'm happy to report shes celebrating her 30th in two weeks! The usual life expectancy of a person with CF, nowadays, is around 35 so i am so thrilled that someone is going to make her happy because she totally deserves it.
Of the three of my sisters, i would do anything for Prue...anything! Next down the line, Piper is one to have fun with, she is a great person and the mother of my nephew, Will. The youngest, Phoebe, is the one who I'm closest to, we really are like brother and sister and so alike. When i dropped out, after the usual people,  i had to tell her. Turned out she wasted two years of college because she didn't like the course, but didn't want to tell anyone..so she got me when i said i wanted to drop out.

Anyone who wants any information about Cystic Fibrosis here's the link for ireland and the link for worldwide

And i little side note, remember Matty and Charlie? I had to stay up with Matt on MSN on Tuesday, Matt has problems sleeping, so i stayed up till 6am till Charlie came. I may have complained a lot to him, but i felt like i had to keep him safe till a real person could be there. The gratitude i got from both of them was so overwhelming, they really made me feel good...best friends i could ask for, even if i never met them! Anyway Matt's getting medication and is slowly on the road to recovery...wish either of them were online,  need someone to talk to and make me laugh and forget everything (they are really good at it)

Hoping tomorrow brings some kind of calm
~danis

PS recently ive gotten an addiction to old 90s pop music like Spice Girls, S Club, Steps all the old stuff i love when i was younger. Maybe i miss the old times and listening to them to get back to a happy place.

Title Name

Its been a while i know! I could blame it on a lot of things but the main cause is laziness!

So whats been going on since i was here last?? Hmm good question..
Things have cooled off with granny, she still gets on my nerves and all but yano ;)

There has been a lot happening, but i cant think at the moment so instead i will tell you about my new "friends". Its not like they're not actually there, its just that i never met them..ill explain.

Charlie and Matt are a couple going to Liverpool Uni. Charlie's from down south, Cambridge i think? He has a sexy voice or so I've been told! Matt is from somewhere in Manchester, with an equally attractive accent I've been lead to believe and they are my newest cyber-friends on MSN (which is being a cunt at the moment but that's for another time).

Been talking to them since just after Christmas...no that's a lie!! First conversation i had with Matt was on xmas eve, i think! I ad the misfortune to get to listen to him bang on about how much he missed his man, and how much he loved him...usual couple rubbish. But now, nearly two months later i have so much respect for them. As a couple and as individuals. Unlike many people my age i don't care that they are gay...i will easily talk about anything and everything with them. They are a such easy people to have a laugh with...even if it keeps me up til 6am!!

The best thing about them is they make me laugh and forget everything about my crappy life, about the stresses at home at the moment, college, what to do with my life, etc..the list can go on!!

Really want to talk to either of them right now....will wait! :)
My favourite show is back on too, Being Human! So happy :D

Sleep, Eat, Prosper
~danis

Words Cannot Fathom!!'

Sometimes my granny is such a bloody two faced bitch!! Right at this moment i hate her so much, and i know you might think i will regret this post in the morning and will be feel guilty about but not this time!

She had the nerve to say i am Paul's side! How dare she say that, i cant believe she had the nerve to saying something so hurtful and mean! So annoyed at her right now and my keyboards are felling the full force of it.

For those who don't understand what I'm on about, theres a full account in my first post. But the Cliff-notes version is my aunt and uncle separated in October. He (Paul) left Deborah and it was a complete shock, i know everyone says that but the first i knew about it was when she said he was going and then he left! Its been how ever many months since and i am still trying to get my head around it. See they were like my other parents and they have no kids, live 12 houses from me and i was in their house every day since i remember so it was like my parents separating.

Unfortunately i live with my granny and Deb is her daughter (so my blood aunt) and of course hate Paul at the moment. But i cant, i just cant! Ive seen him in my life more than my actual dad...he is the best thing i have to constant male role model......or he was! But me and granny always come to blow, about anything really, but she took it a step too far tonight. I know secretly (or not) everyone has picked sides and its mostly Deb considering she is their sister, aunt, daughter. I genuinely haven't and cant pick sides, more importantly i don't want to have to!

Hate feeling like this!! Feeling better now that i got it out and talking to someone on MSN i don't really know but its good to talk about nothing for a chance :)

all for now
~danis

Links and Links

Heres the link to the excavation that I hope to go to in the summer: The Expedition in South Shields. The price is £795, roughly €950 I think..and i know its a bit steep but this is a breakdown of  how the money is spent and after reading it im happy to spend that much.

• 57 per cent of your contribution is spent by the scientists managing your expedition. Typical costs include supplies, equipment, research permits, rents, utilities, and the hiring of local cooks or drivers as well as your food, accommodation, and local transport costs.
• 20 per cent of your contribution is spent by Earthwatch on political, meteorological, and physical risk assessments, health and safety policies, 24-7 crisis response and emergency management procedures, and associated training of research scientists.
• 12 per cent of your contribution is spent by Earthwatch to promote expeditions to the public and service your participation, including printing an Expedition Guide, advertising, and maintaining a web site.
• 8 percent of your contribution is spent by Earthwatch to take your booking, review your registration forms, send you an Expedition Briefing pack, and thoroughly preparing you before departure for your expedition.
• 3 per cent of your contribution will be spent on medical and evacuation insurance coverage, travel insurance cover, and offsetting the greenhouse gas emissions of your travel.

While im on the links and what not, this is Britters lastest single; "Hold It Against Me". I have to admit i was a HUGE Spears fan when i was younger and i will check the current songs just to see if she still has it. This song didnt impress me when i played it for the first time, nor the second but by the third play it got under my skin and have to say i really like it. Its got that beat to be a nightclub fave and the singing is a lot better than the past few years!!

The Beeb has a interesting docu on the dangers of oral sex and  HPV  which leads to cancer, throat cancer mostly and its a factor in cervical cancer too. Should give it a gawk on BBC3 now, prob will be repeated too.

A final note, i was very happy to see that i got 18 views overnight on my last post so keep tuned and please dont be deterred to follow me or leave me a comment....i promise to answer all and any comments i get! :)

Live life to the max (or as best you can)

~danis

PS I havent eaten anything since midday, and its coming up to 1am. Im not hungry even, but what makes me happy/freaks me is that im kinda proud of it...what does that mean?? :/

Take Over Control

Another post-i know, no posts for ages and then two in the one go! :)

Anyway this is my year so far and what I'm hoping i can do this year.

So far, its been a good year...Rachel got out of hospital and she on the mend, slowly though, but at least shes still here. We are hoping to have a "Welcome Home" party for her. Granny will be 70 in about two weeks and family are going for a big meal for it, so far its granny, mam and her sisters,  me and my two cousins Laura and Rachel. It bugs me that it is always us that ever do anything family related. If it was up to me all 15 of us should be there: granny, her five daughters and nine grandkids, it is a special occasion for god's sake!
Still on birthdays, its my aunts on Tuesday-49! My cousins on Thursday-20! and then granny ten days later...

New subject, I'm hoping to go to South Shields for a week in the summer, there's an archaeological dig that's on all summer and they look for volunteers on this site EarthWatch Worldwide and gives you so much information on a number of different areas like archaeology, climate change, habitats and other things in that area, check it out!
Anyway the dig is in South Shields in Newcastle and its for a week but its sounds amazing, the price is kinda steep but its worth it, it will cost me £795 (roughly €950) for the week which includes all your equipment, training, accommodation, food, excursions, etc and the site is a a non-profit organisation so i would gladly pay that price. Oh you have to pay for your own flights over too, but aren't that sear from Dublin.You can pay more if you  feel you want to but that's up to each individual :) While we are still in the UK, i should be hearing, soon, if i got tickets for a Wimbledon match...hope i do!!!

That brings me onto my next dilemma...a job! Ah i need one fast if i want to do anything from above. In my ideal world i would love to go to the dig, then fly to London if i get tickets or not and then come home...maybe have a holiday of my own for like two weeks, see what happens :)

Think that's all for now, college starting back on Monday and looking forward to getting out of the house, but wish it was for a better reason...

Enjoy live as it comes peeps
~danis

Not Sure

I was going to do a month by month synopsis of 2010 but i don't want to keep dwelling on the past so shortening it down. Welcome to my first last post on 2010!


January: Christmas exams and results and the realization I don't like this course one bit, I loved the friends i made but wasn't staying there for them!! What do i do....dwell on this for the next 6 months (not healthy!)


February: Nothing out the ordinary happening here, missing more college and spending waay too much time in Starbucks. Cavan's Got Talent (CGT) starts...relevant for later.


March-April: Same really...more time spent thinking about dropping out and still in Starbucks more than i should be. CGT really hotting it, Paul's (uncle) band making it to the final and i meet someone, really like her and enjoying the banter between us


May-June:  Summer exams, knowing regardless of my results i dont want to come back. Holidays to Spain and a time to relax. Paul wins CGT and something happens with that person (not a good thing)


July-September: Results and the inevitable confession I had to spill, it went down ok. I think it was because my surrogate sister (really close neighbour) spent two years in a course doing nothing because she didn like it! It was nice to have someone on my side and that can relate to how I was feeling! Totally regretting meeting that and wish I didnt know her! Couldnt even listen to Pendulum w/o feeling down. Enrolling in the college in town only to make people happy and so i wasnt sitting around for a year. College is fun and meeting new people was great, wont make a career out of it but its better than doing nothing!


October-November: This is when shit hits the fan big time. Its the reason I started this blog. With that in mind im not repeating myself...Heres what i didnt tell you: My birthday came and went, no more a teen i am....20 Eeek! The worst part of my situation is i really wanted to move out, but still be close to home....now i cant do that!! See how this year goes *Fingers crossed*

So thats 2010 and now looking forward! Throw everything you got at me 2011...im ready for ya.
If im quick i might get another one up in a few....we will see.

Fun Time! :D

I swiped this from Family Tree Of Two. Feel free to use it in your blog if you want! :D

1) What is your dream occupation?  I would love to be an archaeologist/historian or something in the field. Maybe a freelance photographer on the side..

2) What is the best dish that you can cook? I can bake a really yummy chocolate cake and quadruple choc muffins.  But its not all about chocolate, i can make mean fajitas and of course my own pasta dish!

3) Have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper? Yea, few times; won 2nd place for "Young Historian Of The Year" and for  an interview for my debs. *Cringing remembering that*

4) What’s the worst and/or most memorable job you’ve ever had? Only had the one, at the moment, but working in the office of Pauwels Trafo (now CG Power Systems) was a fun job. It showed me how much i NEVER want an office job!! Way too boring and monotonous for me...9-5 is not the way to make a living in my book :/ 

5) When you were a teenager, at what age did you envision yourself getting married? How old were you in reality when you got married? Just stopped being a teen (20 last month) and giving my family's track record with marriages, I'm not even thinking about marrying anyone until I'm in my 30s, just going to enjoy life as I am.

6) What’s your most hated household chore? What’s your favorite?  Hmm, most hated would have to be feeding the birds...in the winter it's too cold to care to do it, but i still do!! Favourite would have to be doing my own dinner, when I'm on my own for the day music is blasting, making fajitas, curry, spag bol...whatever! :)

7) What’s your earliest memory? Have to be going to the zoo as a toddler, have seen the video of it but other things stick out in my mind! I remember being terrified of the bears and the smell of straw in the summer reminds me of that day.


I know I've been absent for a few days, working on a blog as we speak and its kinda longer than normal!! Keep with me for a bit longer buds! :)
~danis